so iv been writing these past few days....but in little pockets of sorts..... i start off fine but then (for watever reason) i stop. ... put it away ... and the next time ...i start all over again ... so pockets. of sorts. (some draft ...others pocket) ...
Basically what that means is that now i have these little bits of conversations with myself ...strewn all over the place.... these things ... thats i could/would/want to/maybe talk or rather write about ...see ...but now. ... well now theyr strewn ...and im at a loss as to whether i should stop and gather round all my goodies ....potential pearls of wisdom even who knows ..... or fuck that shit ... and start afresh ...from scratch ....
i think its because i cant write right now. well I think i can ...obviously .... which is why i start in the firts place ... but half way down ..well ... like i mentioned ....
right now i just spent a good 7 1/2 mins on 2 paragraphs (small ones at that ... mini paras even) ... which i then deleted ... because they sucked ...ofcourse ... is that pretentious ? .... or is the fact that i asked?> that? ...
now. great ...not only am i confused ... but i dont quite know what to write. right?
so ...... move on ...move along ...
i was watching greys anatomy ... (a LOT of which has been going on lately) .... khair ... theres this one scene in which they leave the hospital and go to the dirty seedy bar across the hospital ..because its where everyone goes post call ... and there is nothing pretty or cosy or comfy or even nice about the bar r how it looks ... its just a regular bar with dim lights dirty floors sticky tables and shots ... lotss of shots ...
FUCKKKK ...what can i even say .... mcgibbinspeelpubcafecampusvinnys .... i miss it .... so muchhh... and i miss having people to go to such places with and get trashedwastedsmashed .... because that is in fact the ONLYYY purpose such a place has .... THAT the main reason people go there! and its great! no dressing no defenses no knowing every second person who walks through the door and wanting/needing desprately to look sober (while the person across from you tries the same invain) ... just because these. the people here. they are not the people. not the right people..... not the ones you can let your hair down with ..... not the ones youv danced (andimeanreallyreallydancedwithoutgivingadaymn) with ..... not the ones you can cry infront of .... . not the ones you left behind in what was once your city ... or the ones who left you and have moved now to thier own (new) cities // [ ....scattered ....strewn .... pockets ....everyone becomes]
so0o yea ....NOT the right people .... and so0o daymn many of them that too ...
(hmmm ... quite the lame post after a haitus of this long ... crap ...oh well ... :P)
(....i just need to dance daymnit!!!)
(i hate people)
(im act starting to understand the p.s. /p.p.s. thing ...cuz iv actually hit the edit button each time to add in these bracketyed bits)
(oh and by the by ....apparently brackets (parenthesis <-is this redundant here->) are 'going out of fashion'?! .. an editor i wrote an article for informed me of this ..... daymnit i like brackets .... hmph ... still hate people .... )
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