i dont know how were going to go on...
i dont know if we can...
Sometimes its so0o easy ...being together having fun ... sometimes I want this to go on forever But can it ...as easy as it is just being in the here and now... I seriously question whether together we will ever be able to move forward ..grow. Even after 4 year and then some Sometimes i turn around and look back at the years and it feels like we havnt really moved in any direction... I even wonder if we know each other any better ...superficially yes but if really 'know' eachother.
But then can anyone ever really know someone else? is that a possibity or just another one of those part of a perfect-life myths
I dont want him to exit my life and become just a happy memory of my college years and yet everyday i feel us slowly little by little growing apart. truthfully i feel myself growing apart... away from him. Its so unfair to him. he wants for things to stay the same more then anything....and for him even i want them to.
But we have talked about ...how were so different ...how in the long run i just cant see us happen. ... and yet we dont end it .... we say o well we'll deal with it when the long run comes....
Sometimes i wonder if our whole lives will pass us by while we'll keep putting off dealing with it. Can someone live their entire lives out like that.
None of my frnds know about this aspect of my relationship. tehy maight have an idea but no one really knows. I feel guilty abpout it. Feel like (...well know) that theyll turn around and say well what are you doing in this if you dont see it going anywhere. Thats the way it is now at this age in this society.... There no point to it if your not going for the long haul.
but the truth is i love him! i want his happieness more then anything!
Often i wish tht he would find someone amazing and be the one to break it off with me. At least that way i know he'll be ok.
Its just so unfair. I find someone who i love and who loves me more then anyone else can and yet the logistics of life make it so that we are at odds with one another. The problem with our relationship is not here and now ...right now we are the perfect couple. The problems will arise when we begin the rest of our life....
2 comments:
Sadly I've been in the same situation, and yes, with all the love and the perfect here and now, we grow apart...And if you postpone the inevitable end like I did, you'll find yourself after years of relationship not knowing yourself, not knowing where you end and where he begins... Are these my dreams? his dreams? Does he really know me? That was my experience, not necesarily will be yours. But if you love him, don't stay with him for all the wrong reasons.... Live your life.
hey. dunno if this applies, and i dont presume to know your relationship, but this is something i have learnt from experience:
If you are married to someone, you stick it out with that person through thick and thin, through heaven and hell...and screw personal differences, different likes and dislikes....
BUT if you two have different VALUES, and you are NOT YET married, then re-think things.
works for me. it's not advice or anything. just an observation.
good luck.
ps - maroon?
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