have things changed because they were too good for too long?! .... is this some kind of price we all must pay for having had such a good life so far. this. over nothing! this. its nothing. how is it shattering everything?! "nazar lag ga-ee" .... somehow i belive that.... what else can it be. we were so good *MASHALLAH* ... neurotic ofcourse dysfunctional even but in the best possible way. i was always thankful for it! kabhi nashukri nahin ki ... i always realized that we were luckier then most.
i looked up to them. all of them ... they gave me hope ... life could be good ... families could be whole.... happy. I still belive that. ... maybe its because iv belived it for so long ... maybe im just naive.
there has to be a solution to this. some resolution. i just dont know how to get to it. i dont even know how to deal with this. im not the best person for this. im really not. but im trying...to handle this.... somehow.... praying .... iv stopped ... i should start again ...but it scares me.

just please
pray
for us