sigh... im feeling ok right now ... good even ... its prob the patharness .... its prob the fact that im alone and patharedness...
maybe its because i was read that....hmm daymn deja vu... have i confessed this before? ...maybe i started to ...but i would never. ..
i feel a little reckless right now ... like when youv been beaten for so long that you just dont care ... selfish... its my turn ... i dont know if id act on though ... i wonder ...if he could daymnit ...
so0o seriously ..how do i know what this is ... if this is worth it? i know i keep telling myself its not ...but fuck ....
fuck ...even i want to relax now ... "not be tied down" ... what did he think i never felt it ........ fuck him! i cant even get out the shit that im feeling ... cant write it here ... esp not here .... urghhhhh ...why do ppl get involved ... why do feelings get involved ....why does rational reason get involved ..... why does attraction get involved .... dont they knowwww ... these things cant get along ..can nott be found togetherrr .... seriously one should just be allowed one for each of the categories ... that way none gets mesed up and everyones happy .... ahhh ...no guilt no attachment no obligation no head fucks no mindgames no frustrations no fucking hangups! ... yess that wonderful wonderful thought of the parallel universe!
but no
we get this one!
great! wonderful, brill-fucking-iant ...and the wrd that i cant remeber from that show that ended in '...cunt' ... hehe ... hmmm ... make belive days ... there was none of the real wrld ...or was there and iv just painted over the yuckyness .... o0h well ... i miss the churches too ... the music from the summer ... its not depressing ..its "that mood" music .... how does it get so complicated ,...