i dont know why im back here. but it seems like i need to be really really quiet about this. shhhhh . not a word to a soul if no one knows then maybe it will go back as silently as it came without anyone being the wiser. why dont i pray. why am i such a fucking retard? fuckkk fuckkk fuckinggg fuckk ...even the worrd dfuck doesnt seem strong enough.
im finding it hard to breathe. the air in this romm so warm so still (even though the fan is on) . so clausterphobic. breathe. steady. so i dont collapse.
steady. wrap my self into a little ball become little shrink in size ...down to a thin sliver ...so that what? so this goes away?
what the fuck do i say to her? fuck me for being me!
i still cant breathe. maybe i should inhale some smoke. that might help. maybe. fuck. fu7ck. this is pointless. this me here. sitting writing typing in a suffocating corner at the wrong end of the house. fuck.
fuck.