its pouring outside and i have nowhere to go

(and even after restarting it takes me over a mth to come up with something .....anything ....)

its been two years and its all still the same.... the city hasnt changed one bit. The same places, roads, signs, even people.... the guy at my dep, the fat waitress at mcgibbins, the lady behind the counter at jmsb, the salesgirl at the store down the road..... even the bums down on st. catherine...

whats changed really is me.... us ....all of us. we'v changed so much that you couldnt place us even if you squinted really hard and tilted your head sideways... (sideways sideways sideways.... :)... memories of a different era)

walking down the street sometimes i turn a corner and sometimes wonder if i stopped. and walked backwards if could i go back to that day that year when we were all walking down this street together .....(at night in the rain down to the dep to buy chocolate)

....and if i stayed still. here for long enough.... could i too become like the city.... still.... unchanging.

but that could never happen.
were so different now. so far removed. even those that stayed here.
lives move on ..... everything always changes.

2 years away and i come back to these streets and i feel a strange sense of nostalgia. Its like a ghost town in a way. stuck in time. with transparent memories of those that were floating up and down these streets. theyr not dead ....my friends... those moments... our memories. So then why does it feel so ....just so.

this. my home away from home.... yet iv never felt like this in khi. i guess iv never been away from it for this long. and i guess khi changes so much in a fortnight that change there is something one gets accustommed to .... its this sameness thats unfamiliar.

...but really

its good to be back. :)