ragdoll pretty

sigh. im tired ...
im sick of the expectations. the appropriate reactions. sick of being a fucking ragdoll in all your eyes. say this to make her smile. get her that to hear her laugh. push this button and she will cry. poke her this way and she wont know what to do with her self.
and Right now ...with me not knowing what it is that im not feeling or am ..every single little action of yours feels like a poke. poke pokity poke. (and not the good fucking kind)

every
time
you (any.
all
of you)
say something

.. i - want - to - scream:

NO! !!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!
I WANT TO SCRATCH UR EYES OUT!
I WANT TO PUT A SCREWDRIVER THROUGH UR BALLS!
GET OVER UR FUCKING SELF!
SORT YOURSELF!
AND LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!
I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO OWE YOU ANYTHING... ESPECIALLY NOT A POLITE SMILE WHICH I DONT EVEN MEAN!
FUCK UR INSTRUCTIONS!
FUCK UR EXPECTAIONS!
FUCK MY OBLIGATIONS!
UR SORRY STATE & THAT POOR-BECHARA-LIL-ME STANCE!
FUCK YOU ALL!

(.....and i dont care if all ur asking of me is to pass the fucking dahee)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


...just

let

me

crawl into my own little dark space and just be!
..... and if you cant do that and i get nasty on ur ass well consider that ur own fucking fault! so there!!