'La mariee', Marc Chagall







"It feels like how love should be ... floating through a dark blue sky."
"With a goat ... playing a violin."
"Well, yes. Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat."

- Notting Hill

step inside
the box
to come across
another world
slip off
the cover
and
rake your fingers
through
the truth
more real
then that other reality
the substances
that overtake
the senses
falling through
hold on to
the edges
rough
though they may be

warning: all people of "perhaps" pakistani descent do not go out wearing a large coat. you may be shot for no fucking reason whatsoever!

Fucking Assholes!


urghhh this whole thing is such a joke!

everything is such a joke .... how is the world opperating ..

fucking mess

surreal doesnt even begin to cover it ..... so muchhh .... in such a stretched day ...tired now ....legs hurt .... in another city. in another place now ..... 1 min 44 secs left on my time on teh internet ...i should click the publish post button now!

after meeting the stick figures, pirates and such

the world switched over sometime during the night
(or did it happen before?)
& i dont know how to put it back



=-=-=-=-


Something precious
shattered
around
me

But glued
to the floor
unable to move
i can't help
but let
the pieces
be

im a little lost..
im in way over my head ..
not knowing what to do ...what to say... what should i say? you tell me
.....i dont even know if ....
im sorry .... what else can i say .... that is if ....

spinning
like the light
around your eyes
she builds ideas
with her hands
her mind
light on her feet
slipped
out of your sight
following the rhythms
she turned
around the fragments
of your life

=-=-=-=-=-=-


Its the stories that link us. everyone has one. everyone is part of one...or maybe even a dozen. There are so many different versions and yet its all the same....
Ever wonder how many there must be.. stories that is... ever thought of counting them all or even the ones you came across this week or maybe just today. and how does one keep track of it all when your story bleeds into mine or hers into yours.....

have you ever
thought
a word
one or sometimes
maybe two
that escaping from your lips
may have
lead
to something more
but
broke away
somehow
seperated from their flock
so you
never did know
those other words
somehow
that may have
sprung
from the very ones
that
left...........

blah! in a form of paralysis!
i think i know what i want ...i think i can handle it ... but then i find myself like this!
finding it hard to put into words.. anything really.
fear of judgement (not that you will but you know you will...everyone does) fear of putting myself out there. and it being in the open. fear of not being perfect. yea yea i am that narcissistic. im not used to this you see.
sigh.
khair anyway. it'll get worked around. no worries. everything does.

you grow up and you learn to take things in your stride. its all part of the big shabang.
dont you get it. there are things just not worth it. not worth the time. the grief.
everyone has it shitty. and everyone knows it. but you dont get clean by wallowing in the daymn shit! deal w/ it!

do it.
build a bubble w/ a smile inside. and keep it. in fact you have it already. just deeper inside then others. it helps you know. helps you get to where the bubble becomes real and even when sometimes you leave it behind it follows you. and you know at the end of the day. at the end of this life. you will be fine.
you have to be.


you have to make it work for yourself

sometimes my chest swells up with feelings and its a battle to keep them inside. contain them within. and not let a single one spill out in the form of clear droplets of emotions. spill out onto some elses preconcieved ideas of what it means to be full of feeling...

===========

when was it
the world orange blue
a single dragonfly flew

how was it
that turned on its head
it was another day instead

some other day

another
word slapped
to her back

to make it so.
so
she'd spin with the worlds
spinning
softly
softly at her toes.

toes tiny twinkle, pretty tiny toes.

it may be washed out
but
was she drawn
in. in

she's back to where it started
back
and now back
it begins

again.

again
to before
it ends. this time does it end. did it end.or ends.

a word
for
each
word
thrown up up into the air.

climb
down. down
from the
heights.
climb climb onto the stair.

up to
a safe place
place safe
for her to be

take care of her
look after her
look.
look
would you?
lookout for her for me.

...... speechless

reminded again of the make believe ness of this city...i guess its just that time of year :)




..... went to see 'tango flamenco' ...sadly the only performance of its kind iv ever been to... But WOW! Seriously. what a performance!!!


:
the music. the dance. it was absolutely breath-taking.... i love dance (esp latin dance) so i had goosebumps as soon as i heard the music and saw the first dancer on stage... but as the show progressed it just blew me away....
... each note aligned in perfection to every movement of made by each member of the troupe... the grace encompassed in a flick of their wrists, down to the final stamp of their heels, not to mention everything in between ...The costumes. The drama. The choreography. The intensity.

and the stories!
mesmerizing.
....the woman with the voice who when she sang felt like she was pouring not only her heart but her essence, her secrets, black, white; wrenching them from her soul and laying them bare for us.... the story of the woman who could let go of her grey cover and the man who tried to make her let go .... ....and the red satin against black suit .... their dance was so intimate that i almost felt the need to look away (to give them their privacy) but it was so beautiful and sensual that i couldnt help but look anyway
.... Simply put …it was fucking indescribable!



….you know I honestly dont think that story telling in words …written or spoken…..can even compare to the power of a story told through dance and music .... it can just move you so much more …you feel everything without having to think about it…...its a gut feeling .... its just feelings...


And its when i see things like this that i think how absurd those people are who profess dance and music to be unislamic and claim that it takes the mind away from God. Because when i sat there overwhelmed by the utter beauty of what i was seeing and hearing… i couldnt help but think of only God and how remarkable He must be to have created the beauty that exists in something as intangible as dance or music. Notes, rhythms, beats ..... how lucky we are that life itself moves to all sorts of rhythms and beats... and how wonderful that He endowed us with forms so exquisite that can move in such elegance, harmony and beauty….. that can create such a vast range of movements as expressions of self or even art... the sheer idea that epics could be conveyed through bodies in motion ....
How can you see this and not give due credit to the one who created it….the one who also gave us the facilities and the creativity to utilize these gifts….

tearing apart
her lips
full and pink
he reached into her throat
snatching up
words
to make them his own.

its funny how iv become that person .... didnt really think that would ever happen...and yet here i am...content in hiding behind the clouds of smoke and easy distractions when things get rough...

facing up to life is sometimes so much harder then you would have imagined (even when you thought you had imagined it all) and the craziest thing of it is that this isnt anything. its definatly not as bad as it can get. not even close. So then why is this so difficult.....
This assuming of my role in life as a person. an adult! this starting to actually take part in conversations. in life... for all the times i felt left out ...i now miss my childish role of the innocent bystander... how much easier was that to play out.
And now to the conversation.... where do i even begin? how do i start?(anywhere as long as i start it) is it even my place? (mine is the only place)
cant thing whole thing get sorted on its own? (thought it had but apparently not)...
daymnit
why do i have to keep making decisions...taking actions ...
what!? now that im grown up my privilages of sitting back and relaxing have been taken away..your telling me I actually have to start taking part in my own life.. .


crap.

this is going to be a long long ride ......

sometimes the words dont rhyme but just because they dont may not be reason enough to toss those fragments to the wind and pretend we never believed in what may have been between the two had the the things they said mattered at the time

when he stopped for a second to reconsider the words that had flown from his lips before he had even begun to construct the sentence within the confines of his mind he realized a minute too late that the moment had passed and she had moved on leaving behind the memory of how flowery she sometimes smelt...

Lips of Coral
part
ever so slight
Give way
to longings
feelings
Turquoise
Shivers
down her spine
Touch
the dip
of her waist
Lids drooping Heavy
Concede time
and Space
Drops of salt
Sweat
Glisten
down the side
of her neck
She
bends
to the Sun
weightless Warm
Breaths
Brown curls
tumble down
sometimes
Crimson
by the light
In another age
thoughts Violent
Slip
to the side
her fingers
trace patterns
In flesh colored hues
Brilliant
shades in her shadows
Caress
the contours
of You