i want to scream!! i want to stop breathing!! how the fuck did this happen. everything was fine. everything was bareable. i was even thinking it was time for a light hearted post. i thought things were getting better. why the fuck did i think that? why the fuck did i dare to imagine this could get easier? why the fuck did i think we could be friends or that you would be there for me. you'll never be there for me again and i just have to accept that. you need to be there for yourself and thats how it is. i know it was nothing but how can you drop this on me and expct me not to react? how would you have reacted if i told you something like this. i know it was nothing but still. i know i have no rights on you anymore but still. i know they were just feelings and you did all you could but still.
i keep thinking this is it. we'v past the worst. i dont know how or why im so fucking naive. i am a coward. i am a hypocrite. i told you be honest with me and i'd deal with it. i cant. im sorry. i tried to be ok. i swear i did. i thought i'd be ok. but i cant help it. i'd still rather know then not know. i dont know why. i guess it just made my insecurity real. i know it was nothing. but still.