strained stretched breathes

im not happy! i used to be a very happy person. im not anymore. its not like anything earthshattering has happened in my life. No. Nothing has happened. But im just not happy. Most of the time I feel sad. And the times I dont I'm distracted by something else. Its not depression though. I know depression. No. its sadness. The grave kind. But really. Nothing has happened. I feel all stretched out and shredded from the inside. My heart feels dented. Not broken though because nothing really has happened. Just dented. Right now I want to scream. I want to throw things across my room. At someone. I want to tell the people I meet that I'm not happy and its all a facade. A giant mask. But not everyone. Just the people who would care. Really care. I want to be hugged. I want to curl up and disappear. If only for a moment. Not have to think. or feel. I want to be hugged. Really really tight. And I want the person hugging me to mean it. I want the person to not think about themselves or thier problems or anything other then me and just hug me like they really really mean it. I want to let out the tears brimming at my eyes that I keep pushing back. But then again nothing has happened so why all the fuss.