Monday, November 21, 2005

at a point

There has to be some point where you wait. You wait for life to change. For things to start happening. For someone to understand. You walk up that line up to that point. And at that point you stop. And you wait. And after a few blissful days or maybe years you realize that you will spend the rest of your life standing here at this point. Waiting. (waiting for godot?) And unless you move now and move fast this point could be it for you. The sum of everything. This wait. Your life.
But then sometimes you've just been standing still for so long that even the idea of moving can be fucking paralyzing. then what? You spend a few seconds or maybe months trembling in fear. And then (hopefully) you muster up all the courage all the strength all the "caches of self adoration" youve been saving up for so long. And you move. If for nothing else for the fear that if you don’t take that step that point that youve been holding on for it mightn't be able to contain you any longer and you might spill over onto the pavement and get washed away with yesterday's grime...

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Decidophobia- Fear of making decisions.
Dementophobia- Fear of insanity.
Demonophobia or Daemonophobia- Fear of demons.
Dikephobia- Fear of justice.
Doxophobia- Fear of expressing opinions or of receiving praise.
Dysmorphophobia- Fear of deformity.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"cache's of self adoration" ! coined and copyrighted...and so unscrupulously stolen...dont question my verbosity again you ...

hang in there whatevers eating you up : )

just muttering said...

[herb et fromage toujours]
heheh ...ok ok so the orginal version did infact have it all italicized and quotationmarked ...dunno what happ but the mishtake has been rectified (what a AW :P)