stomach curls up at the thought of what the next day(s) might bring. spent the last few weeks waiting for it. maybe i should step up before things get out of hand. but im scared. scared of how out of hand things got the last time i thought that. maybe it'll get fixed on it own (....regardless of how hard i try i cant even convince myself of that...)

....im praying. (anything else i try to do always screws up). and i think the praying is helping. and im thankful. so so thankful.

1 day.
just let it go by like the days have so far.

just fix it.
please.